The Time My Wife Almost Made Me Poop Myself

Allow me to set the scene.

This was right on week eight of the pregnancy and we were preparing all morning for the first ultrasound.  I still remember my wife being subjected to drinking eight cups of water prior to the appointment so that she can get a good scan of her belly.

She was already feeling nauseous all morning and chugging down gallons of water as if she came back from eating an MSG filled all you can eat meal.

We were ready to go as she was sitting in the living room bench downing the last gulp of high quality H2O.

*Okay Pause*

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So as she puts down the glass from the last gulp of water, she chokes, and she starts coughing.

Then suddenly both of her hands fling towards her mouth to block what appears to be a blast of water.  Remember the mentos and diet coke that were all the rage?  Imagine that blast radius a meter towards the direction in front of her.

She scrambles and she begins to dash towards the blast direction.

The look in her eyes, bloodshot and watery either from the projectile water or real tears gears towards the washroom direction.

One step, two step, three step, fou…

*keeeerrrplunk!*

Everything was in slow motion as my wife slowly turned horizontal with her arms up, and legs waist high.

Her shirt was drenched as if a giant water balloon had landed on her front side.

My eight week pregnant wife had slipped and fallen on her side.

I scream out, “OH MY GOOOSHHH!”

———————-

This feels good to write about as I’m starting to be able to laugh about it now.  But even with reminiscing it, I feel a sense of feel and failure for letting something like this happen.

Things could’ve taken a complete turn for the worse.  Thankfully it didn’t.

I think if there is a lesson that I can take from this experience is that throughout the course of pregnancy a couple will go through incredible scares and victories.  It is important to remember the scares to really put things in perspective of how lucky we truly are to be in this position.

In the end, because our appointment was literally 10 minutes away we were about to do an ultrasound to check for any damages, and thankfully nothing was out of order.  In fact, we were able to see our baby for the first time. 🙂

The first time we met
The first time we met 🙂

On a final note, I will neither confirm nor deny whether or not any undergarments of mine were soiled during this sequence of events.

You’re Not a Boy!

“Yep, it’s a girl” – Ultrasound Technician

 

My jaw dropped like a Bugs Bunny cartoon character and your mom welled up instantly.

 

What went on in my mind in real-time

“That’s crazy!” – *This girl is going to be grounded until she’s 20.*

“Wow!” – *She’ll start dating when she turns 30*

“This is totally unexpected, what a surprise!” – *Background checks, family history checks, criminal record check, and credit check any boy she talks to will need to do these things first.*

What went on in your mother’s mind in real-time

“OMG, no way!” – *We have to go to the mall today to buy cute girl clothes!*

This was totally unexpected.

Kid, if and when you read this in the future, just know this:

Your mother and I love how you’ve grown up to be a wonderful daughter…despite the fact that we were sure you were going to be a boy. 

image

Seriously, what a curve ball that got thrown at us.  (I guess those were the only balls thrown…heh)

Our entire mindset up until this point has been set up to anticipate you being a boy.  I even had a conversation about getting you circumcised!

Ever since the third month and on, we were certain the signs pointed to you being a boy.  I mean you went against the Chinese Lunar Predictor!  That thing is supposed to be 95% accurate and you proved it wrong!  Take that Traditional Chinese Predictor, you stink just like your medicine!

You’ve also been a very active baby according to your mother, and we thought only a boy could be this active.  (As a matter of fact, while I am writing this, you are kicking inside of your mom right after she turned to her left side.)

But according to other signs, you told us you were going to be a girl all along.  For starters your mom’s belly shape is fairly round near the sides, which usually means a girl.  Along with that, she developed quite a sweet tooth, and this according to Chinese tradition means two things, a) you’re a girl and b) you’ll probably be diabetic.  (This does run in the family :|). You’ve also caused mom to break out a little as well another sign of a daughter.  She still looks great, but you’ve been really giving her a hard time.

One thing I’ve learned is, through all of these predictors, at the end of the day it’s basically a 50% guess so it’s really not that hard to get right or wrong.  But know this, at this very moment I’m 100% glad that you are who you are and we feel incredibly lucky to have you in our lives.

Boy or girl, to quote Mariah:  “You’ll always be my baby.”