How A Snapchat Tutorial From Cousin Made Me Feel Old and Teenagers Scare Me

I would like to think that I’m pretty in tune with technology. At 30 years of age, I witnessed the dial-up era (shout-out to my 28k modem), ICQ, Friendster, and now I’m still an avid Instagram and Facebook user. I was even one of the first of my friends to get a dataplan for my smartphone (Basically a pioneer in staring at my phone in a social setting.)

So when my wife and I asked our cousin to teach us how to use Snapchat. I felt so old.

Then two things hit me: 1) Well yeah, I am old; and 2) Teenagers are weird and scare the crap out of me.

Feeling Old

Perhaps I should just give up on keeping up with what the teens are using. Sure that seems to be the easy solution, but I realized that I would put myself at a huge disadvantage for the future when I eventually parent a teen.

One of the worst things to do is to be clueless about things, and immediately brush it off, thinking of it as a stupid waste of time.

Plus the last thing I want is to become the adult who is clueless about how to use tech….Like this lady:

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Actually when I tried to figure out the video function on Snapchat, I’m no better than this lady, so maybe I’m not one to talk.

But why should I try so hard with keeping up?

You see, my daughter just turned two months old, and the way I see it is, if I don’t keep up with things now, how the hell am I going to keep up with whatever bizarre medium she uses when she’s a teen?

I image 10 years from now, kids will be all wired like in the Matrix. If I need to be an early adopter for the sake of my kid, then I’m prepared to shove that plug up into the back of my bald and slimy head. And you know that with how rapidly technology has evolved, it’s only a matter of time before things gets shoved somewhere like in the Matrix (not the butt please 🚫.)

If I allow myself to fall behind now, I won’t stand a chance in the future.

And that leads me to my second point; the group that I’m trying to keep up with:

Teenagers

Teenagers scare the shit out of me. There’s just something about them with being so in the moment and yolo’ing, that either bugs the crap out of me, or makes me feel insecure about being an adult. When my daughter becomes a teen and does whatever the heck teens do in her time, I will likely see it as foreign and weird as hell.

I wonder what type of unbelievably stupid acronym will catch on in her time? Hmmm..how about some acroynm like P.E.E.? It could stand for:

PARTY
EVERYBODY
ERRRRDAY

They could start saying it in a sentence like, “Yo, I got some PEE fever!” or “Yeah, that’s how my buddies do, they’re all about PEE’ing all over the place.”

I’ll let PEE marinate a little, I’m sure it’ll catch on.

And what will having “attitude” be like in her time? Growing up we had Goths, which became Emo, or Grunge which became Hipsters, or Preppies/snobs who became Apple fanboys . What kind of annoying group of kids will they evolve to next?!

On the subject of teen attitude, this scene from Fresh Off The Boat got me thinking:

And those were 90s kids…I was one of those! Watching these idiots (though reminded me of me) makes me nervous and angry. How will I be able to handle teens in the future? I can’t throw stuff at them, that’s no longer allowed.

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I guess perhaps I don’t need to worry about this. When the time comes I suppose I’ll just deal with it the only way I know how.  But until then to prepare for my daughter, I will continue to follow and chase whatever trend the kids are following.

I mean as parents, we should at least know what it is our kids are obsessed with right? Or better yet, as parents we should know how something works, which will allow us to properly assess and decide how to deal with it. One of the worst things to do is to be clueless about things, and immediately brush it off, thinking of it as a stupid waste of time.

As for fearing teenagers I will cope with my fear of the only way old people know how to:

By being a grump, angry, old man.

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Oh and by the way, my Snapchat game is strong now: