You’re Not a Boy!

“Yep, it’s a girl” – Ultrasound Technician

 

My jaw dropped like a Bugs Bunny cartoon character and your mom welled up instantly.

 

What went on in my mind in real-time

“That’s crazy!” – *This girl is going to be grounded until she’s 20.*

“Wow!” – *She’ll start dating when she turns 30*

“This is totally unexpected, what a surprise!” – *Background checks, family history checks, criminal record check, and credit check any boy she talks to will need to do these things first.*

What went on in your mother’s mind in real-time

“OMG, no way!” – *We have to go to the mall today to buy cute girl clothes!*

This was totally unexpected.

Kid, if and when you read this in the future, just know this:

Your mother and I love how you’ve grown up to be a wonderful daughter…despite the fact that we were sure you were going to be a boy. 

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Seriously, what a curve ball that got thrown at us.  (I guess those were the only balls thrown…heh)

Our entire mindset up until this point has been set up to anticipate you being a boy.  I even had a conversation about getting you circumcised!

Ever since the third month and on, we were certain the signs pointed to you being a boy.  I mean you went against the Chinese Lunar Predictor!  That thing is supposed to be 95% accurate and you proved it wrong!  Take that Traditional Chinese Predictor, you stink just like your medicine!

You’ve also been a very active baby according to your mother, and we thought only a boy could be this active.  (As a matter of fact, while I am writing this, you are kicking inside of your mom right after she turned to her left side.)

But according to other signs, you told us you were going to be a girl all along.  For starters your mom’s belly shape is fairly round near the sides, which usually means a girl.  Along with that, she developed quite a sweet tooth, and this according to Chinese tradition means two things, a) you’re a girl and b) you’ll probably be diabetic.  (This does run in the family :|). You’ve also caused mom to break out a little as well another sign of a daughter.  She still looks great, but you’ve been really giving her a hard time.

One thing I’ve learned is, through all of these predictors, at the end of the day it’s basically a 50% guess so it’s really not that hard to get right or wrong.  But know this, at this very moment I’m 100% glad that you are who you are and we feel incredibly lucky to have you in our lives.

Boy or girl, to quote Mariah:  “You’ll always be my baby.”

 

 

Stage Fright

Well aren’t you a little tease?

There we were, all ready and doing the ultrasound to finally find out your gender, and you decide to keep it to yourself and stay flat on your belly.  Talk about stage fright!

That’s okay…we’re all entitled to be a little bit nervous or shy.  Heck, I choked during a grade three Christmas recital while only having to sing two sentences of the song: “Somebody Snitched on Me.”  I clammed up and just blanked out in front of my entire school and your grandparents.

Trust me as my kid, choking and getting stage fright sort of runs in the family, so no pressure on my end here as it’s almost expected.

But how about this, for the follow up ultrasound next week, if you show us the goods, I’ll buy you ice cream when you’re born??

[Yes I just negotiated with my unborn child with ice cream, this dad thing is going to work out just fine]

Oh, by the way kid, there’s also another thing I should let you know that runs in the family:

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..

Diabetes.

So that ice cream that you’ll get, it’s going to have to be low in fat and sugar, so it’ll likely taste awful.

[So what I did there, I used manipulation during the negotiations.  Maybe I am cut out for this.]

Big Day Tomorrow

Big day tomorrow. We finally get to find out the gender of our child.  Honestly, I do not have a preference.   I now really understand when soon-to-be parents say they don’t have a preference and just want their child to be healthy, they are not just saying it as a politically correct response.

I now know they mean it.

I mean it’s a 50/50 chance anyways right, so why stress over it?  Well, oddly enough, I did a quick search of first time birth stats in Canada in comparison to other countries and I found in this 2012 Canadian Medical Association study that the odds are actually 1.07 to 1 in favour of a boy.  Better yet, the study samples from 766,688 live single births in Ontario between 2002 and 2007.  That’s where I live!

So let’s let that sink in a little…

thinking batman

…okay done.

 

What is my mindset right now?

 

Well, if it is a boy I guess I’ll have to play the strict stern parent right?  I mean, it only comes natural for me to be able to relate to them and sort of know what they will go through in life?

 

That’s how this parenting stuff works right? Just things by default.

 

If it is a girl…Game over.

Seriously how the heck am I supposed to know what to do? What’s the protocol on dressing girls?  Do dresses go from the bottom up or top bottom?  Is there a hair-tie and hair length compatibility chart I can follow?  What do I do?

(Okay, the ponytail question is a lie…I already have ponytailing experience.  Back in the 11th grade, but I swear it was one of those cool ponytails that would’ve made you think…”Dang, I wish I can grow my hair long overnight and come to school with a ponytail like that kid.”)

But then again, I hear boys are generally brattier and smell worse.  But I guess regardless, if this child is my child they’ll be a stinker regardless of gender.

Maybe now is a good time for me to just close my eyes and let tomorrow come.

Perhaps soon-to-be parents say they don’t care and just want a healthy kid cause they don’t want to go over the pre-stress of what type of parenting style and role they’ll employee when the watermelon pops?